he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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