I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
