If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
