he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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