I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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