lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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