My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
