so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
