I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
