you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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