You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
