Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
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