Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
