i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
