I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
