Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
