i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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