It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
