yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
