it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
