Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
