I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize