Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
