That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
