The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
