I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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