Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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