Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
