I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
