if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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