i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
