Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
