Who did Billy Mays play for?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
