Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
