You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
