i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
