dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
