I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Why is there bacon in the couch?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
