love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
