I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
