Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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