Im at strip club and am horny
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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