I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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