My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
