All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize