Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
