Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
