The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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