Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
