I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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