dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
