I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
