theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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