The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
