ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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