I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I look better un-naked...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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