I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
