What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
