were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
