you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
it's like iHOP with fire
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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