So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
